Rest in Paradise

1992-2013

AC is dead. He was a housemate of mine. I didn't dislike him. He just scared me sometimes. Sometimes he was like a really annoying and weird little brother. So, yes I still cared. I didn't know how bad his addiction was. I didn't know he had a big black box full of needles and other paraphernalia. I really didn't know.

I am never going to forget February 6, 2013. Waking up to KH screaming "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!" Me and J waking up and looking at each other then jumping out of bed and running upstairs. My first thought was maybe the house was robbed. But then my second thought was AC. We ran straight to his room. I saw him sitting at his desk slumped down in an awkward position. His chin on the table, eyes closed. KH was already calling 911, an J tried waking him up. In fact, he was about to pick him up until I told him to stop. I was at the doorway to his room the whole time. I couldn't cross into the room. It was too scary. Yesterday seems so surreal. The paramedics came, the cops came, then lastly the coroner came. It was an overdose. I am so very sad. I will never be able to get that last image of him out of my head. My last word to him was "No." I didn't stay upstairs. I couldn't watch when they took him away in the black bag. It all still seems so surreal. Part of me feels like he's still gonna walk through that door. I can imagine him pacing loudly around his room. He was only 20 years old.

I am very very sad. His parents are here a day early. Going through his things already. I've only seen his father so far. I think it's his father. I don't remember how he looked the last time I met him. He's very sad and looks as if in the night he aged even more. I started crying again. Things are just triggering my tears. I'm a girl. I don't know any other way.

I am so sorry. I wish you were stronger. I've always been afraid that this would happen like this, and it has. May we meet in the next life.

Rest in paradise, until we meet again.